For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
