Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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