Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
