You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have aggressive nipples.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize