Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
