the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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