i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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