I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
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I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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