garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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