i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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