Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize