Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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