When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize