Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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