jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
