We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
