Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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