how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
