And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
