she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need a beard to bite.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
