so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Alive.
So much puke
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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