i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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