You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
