Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
