I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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