Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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