Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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