Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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