Plan B is the new Plan A
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
