I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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