Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
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i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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