standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
