I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
