You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
