I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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