I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
