so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize