she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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