so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
