seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
