Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize