I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Soap is not a condiment
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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