Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
