how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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