i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize