yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
