Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
