I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize