She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
