So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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