i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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