the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize