I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
