forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
