what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
