i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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