I think I died a long time ago.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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