hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
