Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
