I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just gargled with NyQuil
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
