Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

  (1-310): View more from California

  Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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  (310): I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble (1-310): Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo http://tfl.nu/rwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (595)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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  (972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6
  Replies (104) Good night (23950) Bad night (1016)
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  (310): View more from California

  so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?

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  (310): so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump? http://tfl.nu/ubjm
  Replies (33) Good night (881) Bad night (4380)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.

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  (720): I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch. http://tfl.nu/l2v2
  Replies (23) Good night (5129) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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  (320): I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it. http://tfl.nu/sdid
  Replies (11) Good night (5637) Bad night (1381)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  that's your solution for everything

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  (773): I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best (1-773): that's your solution for everything http://tfl.nu/v8le
  Replies (36) Good night (7247) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.

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  (626): Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment. http://tfl.nu/ewer
  Replies (10) Good night (2824) Bad night (1205)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.

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  (573): I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it. http://tfl.nu/ikx5
  Replies (10) Good night (984) Bad night (3918)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.

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  (647): Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference. http://tfl.nu/9fcx
  Replies (7) Good night (2373) Bad night (1257)
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  (949): View more from California

  And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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  (949): And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/q2uq
  Replies (7) Good night (2794) Bad night (688)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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  (315): I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes http://tfl.nu/99as
  Replies (5) Good night (1824) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking

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  (617): If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking http://tfl.nu/9ua1
  Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
  Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (327)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong

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  (903): I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong http://tfl.nu/enrc
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (556)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

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  (306): yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices http://tfl.nu/7tdp
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (279)

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