Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.