Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Getting food. Want anything?

  (1-949): View more from California

  Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce

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  (949): Getting food. Want anything? (1-949): Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce http://tfl.nu/xicu
  Replies (7) Good night (1959) Bad night (521)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  wat bout pragnant strippers??

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  (815)wat bout pragnant strippers?? http://tfl.nu/yg4y
  Replies (7) Good night (565) Bad night (1011)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  um, yeah. i think it is.

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  (252): is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"? (513): um, yeah. i think it is. http://tfl.nu/omaw
  Replies (12) Good night (2461) Bad night (775)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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  (208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a
  Replies (29) Good night (3318) Bad night (617)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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  (617): May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape http://tfl.nu/qfom
  Replies (12) Good night (4259) Bad night (1366)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ

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  (503): jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ http://tfl.nu/lpdd
  Replies (44) Good night (682) Bad night (5528)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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  (304): He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends. http://tfl.nu/db22
  Replies (7) Good night (1044) Bad night (3340)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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  (862): That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light http://tfl.nu/4kbw
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (2581)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?

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  (570): Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof? http://tfl.nu/enhx
  Replies (11) Good night (2919) Bad night (696)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"

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  (312): I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day" http://tfl.nu/qds9
  Replies (5) Good night (1399) Bad night (1301)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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  (605): I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming. http://tfl.nu/djrq
  Replies (15) Good night (1285) Bad night (3271)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  eta to your mouth 5 minutes

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  (501): eta to your mouth 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/vxef
  Replies (6) Good night (1218) Bad night (432)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?

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  (505): Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away? http://tfl.nu/yzva
  Replies (4) Good night (1858) Bad night (404)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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  (417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (372)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?

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  (519): Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night? http://tfl.nu/8brj
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (199)

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