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I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
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