She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
