If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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