She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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