...so i touched it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
