I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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